Today, one of the real challenges is deciding which of the countless books, training programmes, methods and development opportunities will genuinely help us grow as leaders and which will best support us in addressing a specific challenge.
I have taken part in several leadership development programmes, some of them lasting for years. These have included courses run by Hungarian companies and universities, well-known US programmes, Lean and Six Sigma training, and several soft-skills courses offered by training companies.
I’ve learned a great deal from all of them. Yet when I look back, no single programme developed me most as a leader.
What truly helped me grow as a leader
I learned an enormous amount from good leaders working in international organisations, whom I worked with and learned from every day. They taught me about leadership, business, communication and how to create real impact. They also showed me how to stay focused instead of constantly putting out fires, and how to connect day-to-day operations with strategy.
The work itself mattered just as much. Continually pushing my boundaries, stepping into new situations and taking on things I had never done before – often well outside my comfort zone.
I have also learned a great deal from books on psychology and management, and from literature, too. The lives, relationships and traumas portrayed in books teach us about people in a different way. Long-term self-development work, which I began around the time I became a mother, and the Organisational and Business Coaching programme at Budapest University of Technology and Economics have also shaped me deeply.
Together, these experiences taught me that learning leadership methods is not enough. We also need to work on ourselves: to recognise our blind spots, notice patterns that are no longer useful but still arise automatically and understand what presses our buttons.
A Workforce Institute study across ten countries found that 69% of respondents said their manager had an impact on their mental health. This was the same proportion as for a spouse or partner, and higher than for a therapist.
This is why I believe leaders need to develop not only their professional and interpersonal skills, but also their self-awareness. I feel the same sense of responsibility as a parent: we have a significant impact on the wellbeing and development of those entrusted to our care.
What I value about coaching is that it has direction
I have experienced coaching, mentoring and personal development work with a psychologist. I have also received plenty of advice – both requested and unsolicited.
What I value about coaching is that it is time-bound and built around a specific goal that is stated clearly and, ideally, written down. This appeals strongly to the results-oriented business side of me. I like knowing what we are working on, where we want to get to and how we will recognise that real progress has been made.
Coaching and psychotherapy are not better or worse versions of each other. They serve different purposes and work within different boundaries. Coaching may explore patterns shaped by the past, but it is not intended to treat trauma.
The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as a partnership and a thought-provoking, creative process. Through good questions, attention and feedback, clients can move closer to their own solutions without someone else taking over their thinking.
But sometimes another good question is not enough
In my work with leaders, I find that sometimes they are not looking for another question. They want a practical technique, a leadership example or someone else’s experience that they can consider and adapt to their own situation.
How could we expect a newly appointed leader to have every tool they need if they have never had a strong leadership role model and their organisation does not invest in their development? Excellent professionals are often promoted into leadership roles, even though leadership requires a different set of capabilities.
A short training programme may offer one or two useful ideas or techniques. But that is far from enough to help someone delegate well over the long term, give difficult feedback, motivate people, create psychological safety, manage conflict and still deliver business results.
Knowledge becomes part of our leadership practice only when we apply it in real situations, reflect on what worked and adjust. It takes time and an ongoing process.
It matters which role we are working in
This is why I believe that, in certain situations, coaching should be complemented by mentoring and, at times, targeted consulting.
In coaching, I support clients in developing their own thinking, insights and decisions. In mentoring, I may share a similar leadership experience or offer several possible approaches. As a consultant, I can provide a specific method or professional recommendation in response to a clearly defined question.
As a leader, I have experienced many of the situations my clients bring to our conversations. I have techniques that have worked well and others that have not. But this does not mean that my solution will be the right one for them.
The roles and boundaries need to remain clear. If I want to share my experience or a suggestion during coaching, I explain that I would be stepping out of the coaching role and ask whether the client want to hear it. I do not slip my own answer into a question disguised as coaching. The client decides what, if anything, to take from it.
A coach does not need to be an expert in the client’s field. In leadership and executive settings, however, it can add real value when the coach understands and has personally experienced organisational reality: constant change, pressure, conflict and competing priorities.
Coaching is not always the right approach. Neither is mentoring or consulting. What matters is what the individual leader needs in that particular situation.
The BANI framework describes today’s world as brittle, anxious, non-linear and incomprehensible. In this environment, leaders need to deliver business results, set direction, adapt and create conditions in which others can do their best work. Established leadership methods on their own are no longer enough in every situation.
The leadership development and business coaching market is crowded, too. For me, a credible leadership development professional is someone who can listen without immediately trying to solve the problem, who has relevant experience without imposing it on the client and who manages their roles and professional boundaries clearly.
The aim is not to collect as many techniques as possible, but to understand ourselves better and lead more consciously – for our own benefit and for the benefit of those around us.
If you are not looking for another generic formula, but for longer-term development built around your own leadership context, the Next Level SHIFT leadership development process can help you turn new insights into lasting changes in your day-to-day leadership practice.
If you are interested in how learning, development and everyday leadership practice connect, I also recommend my article Lean, Leadership and Coaching – Leadership Development in Practice .
